i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
