just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
