Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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