At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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