i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
