Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
