The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
