Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
operation harelip BJ is a go
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
