i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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