Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
