he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
