It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
