Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
