How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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