I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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