Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
