She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There are leaves in my underwear?
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