I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
