i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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