Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
