so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
