just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
