So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Your cock deserves a montage
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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