2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I will pee on everything he values.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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