Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
