If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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