their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
