And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
