she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
