Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
