YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
