just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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