Pappa wants mamma naked
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i drank out of a bidet.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
