in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
