no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
