i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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