But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
