My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
