Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
