508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
