sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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