I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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