My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
pop tarts are not kleenex
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
