we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
