there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
