You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
