Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
