Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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