I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
