i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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