ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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