brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
