Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
